 |  |  |
| | |
My sister Sheila's first husband, Herschel Ellis, was killed at the age of twenty-four. At a social event he witnessed a man yelling and rough-handling his wife. Herschel approached the man and asked him to calm down and please take his argument elsewhere. The man agreed. The man then walked over to his truck, pulled out a shotgun and shot Herschel in the chest from six feet away. My sister was not present at the time which I consider fortunate. She and Herschel were in the process of getting a divorce. She was still very much in love with him; but for reasons that are unbeknownst to me, they, after seven years of courtship, could not survive marriage. 
Sheila was twenty-one when she was widowed: she was born September 6, 1964. Since this event in July of 1987, Sheila has since been married twice. She married the second time to Kevin Roberts in 1991, had a son, Lance, and divorced in 1997. She married again in May of this year to a dairy farmer, David Whittle. She is now two months pregnant. Sheila found out in 1997 that she suffers from endometriosis and if she wanted to have another child she must hurry the process before her doctors started her on a series of shots. This speeded up her engagement to David Whittle so she could be married upon getting pregnant.
After the death of Herschel, my sister suffered greatly. Emotionally, she suffered depression, guilt, and anger. Anger towards herself for not being there to assist Herschel and anger towards the man who took Herschel's life. Sheila did not suffer the financial problems that the other two women portrayed in this essay did because she had already broken free from the marriage and was supporting herself. She still remains in constant contact with Herschel's parents and they love her and still consider her their daughter-in-law. They attended both of her weddings and her son by her third marriage calls them his grandparents even though they are not. There is a tight bond between them all.
 |
Juanita, my mother, also suffered great emotional stress. She had always been dependent upon my father, Arleen, since their marriage in 1960. Juanita held herself responsible when Arleen died. My father died of a heart attack and my mother says she completely froze and failed to give him CPR. She says she went blank on the technique and couldn't do it. She called 911, but due to my parents living in a very rural area by the time the ambulance arrived it was too late. My father had slipped into a coma and after four days in the intensive care unit, he was dead. To add to the stress, my father's heart attack happened on Christmas Eve and he was put to rest on New Year's Day. So now, every year her pain is especially evident during the holidays.
My mother suffered financially as well. My father's income had always been the primary income and my mother's was supplemental. 
Due to her income being lower, she not only had debts to pay when he died, but she had relied on him to do all of the household repairs. So, after his death she had to pay someone just to show up and give her an estimate on anything that was broken. She relied on him for car repairs which now takes a huge chunk of her finances. She also has to pay someone to keep up her lawn service. Her yard is quite large and it is too much for her to keep up with. My mother is partially disabled due to a wreck in 1973. Both of her legs were crushed; she had broken ribs and her bottom lip was cut off. She has had many reconstructive surgeries and has had to learn to walk again twice since the accident.
Socially, Juanita has had an awakening of sorts. when my father was alive my mother did nothing but serve him. She had no friends to speak of, she had no hobbies outside of the home and only rarely attended church. Since the death of my father, my mother has discovered she really likes blues music and has actually made the effort to attend a few small concerts. She goes to Bingo and has become active in her church. She has befriended her sister-in-law, my father's brother's wife, who is also now a widow. They really enjoy one another's company and sometimes attend festivals and parades and other local happenings. Most of all, my mother has really become involved in the lives of her grandsons who are all three involved in sports. Be it football, baseball, or soccer, she tries not to miss a game.
Juanita says she has no interest in dating or even seeing another man. She has no interest in sex either. She made it clear that it was none of my business to ask her that question anyway. She told me that she was born February 19, 1940, in New Castle, Indiana. When her parents divorced, she was raised by her mother, Nina, and step-father, Troy Powell, until she left home. She went to trade school to get a degree in Office Management.
My grandmother, Nina, really shocked me when I interviewed her. I had always had the sense that she was a strong woman, but she certainly proved it during our session. I grew up several hours drive away from my grandmother and never really got to know her on a personal level. She was glad to assist me in my oral history research because it gave us a chance to bond in a manner that had never been available to us. In the past we were always surrounded by family at holiday events and I was too young to understand the importance of getting to know her. I now know that importance and the interview I conducted will not be the last.
Nina suffered emotionally at the death of my grandfather Troy, but her sufferings were the least of all the women in this project. She had been preparing herself for over a year since he had been diagnosed with cancer. She since then says she realized that his recurrent abnormal behavior was probably due to complications from the cancer. His behavior was apparently bad and she says she had emotionally disconnected from him - so when he died, it was something she had anticipated and was apparently prepared for.
Troy Powell was her second husband. Her first husband was William Estes Hicks, the father of my mother, Juanita.
Financially, Nina said she had difficulty getting on her feet. Even though they were both retired, everything was in Troy's name. She had never had credit established in her own name in all of her sixty-some years. For her, she says, this was the most difficult thing to deal with. My grandmother also did not drive, so she relied on Troy for transportation. when he passed, she then moved her dependency to public transportation which she was familiar with and now also uses a service through the senior citizens' group she attends that takes her shopping once a week and to all of her doctor appointments.
Socially, Nina also blossomed. she says that when she was married, Troy didn't like her to get out and socialize. She said if she did go ahead and did what she wanted, he would pout and try to make her feel guilty. For example, after church if she wanted to go have coffee with friends, she would have to call home and get his okay. She says she loves her newfound independence because all of her life, she either belonged to her father or her husband and now she belongs to herself. 
She truly enjoys it. She has become even more active in church and really likes traveling with her senior citizens' group.
She likes watching movies with her neighbor friend. Nina also teaches Sunday school for little children and babysits one of the little guys from her group on occasion.
Nina was born on December 18, 1921, and today is battling stomach cancer. In all, Nina had seven children - they are shown in this 1952 photograph below.
In the back row is Marvin (Buck) Hicks and Gloria Hicks.
In the front row is Nancy Hicks, Juanita Hicks (holding step-brother Stephen Powell), Marcia Hicks, and Randy Hicks. 
Emotionally, financially and socially, all three of these women have experienced a wide range of experiences and difficulties but it appears evident that all three have survived and are living enriched lives. A common point of interest is that all three seem to have become more religious and turned to church in their time of need. This is something of which I was not conscious until completion of this research.
LCC WS201 Oral History Project Directions
Back to Randolph Hollingsworth's WS201 syllabus
Lexington Community College Home Page